Yesterday, I went out with him. His relationship with me is so sensitive, I had to think twice. It felt wrong, my subconscious wanted to be with him so badly. i have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm just rambling. Some inner voice told me to go. I did. We went to buy tickets to the movie, he didn't offer to pay. Minus points like crazy. Lunch, Just Acia. He payed - only right. I couldn't look him in the eye, some strange force just wouldn't let me do it. probably it was his piercing gaze.

Most of the things happened during the movie. I felt a sense to attraction towards him. I kept doing things to hint that he should make a move. As expected, he didn't catch it. But we were so close, I swear I almost leaned. I have no idea, my control over myself was fantastic. Soon it was over, and I came to a conclusion that I can never be with him. Ever. My superficial side reigns over all.

He just isn't physically attractive enough for me. I honestly think I deserve better. However, I am pretty sure he is attracted to me. Its matters of the heart like this that baffles me. When I'm physically with him, I'm completely turned off. When I'm not, I'm love drunk. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I'm seeing him in an hour's time. A little flirting won't hurt right?